


Ignis Fatuus

by needs_more_horseradish



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Character Un-death, Crossover, Family Drama, Gen, I hope I'm doing their expectation justice, Panic Attacks, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), better read this on a computer screen is what I'm saying, experimental line spacing, interdimensional travelling, this is for a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2019-11-15 18:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18078824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needs_more_horseradish/pseuds/needs_more_horseradish
Summary: Don't you hate it when you have planned for all emergencies and stuff still goes wrong?





	1. He's Always Playing Around

**Author's Note:**

> A while ago, the very great whatyoufish4, whose fics you should totally look up, and who is also now my beta reader (yaaay, I finally got a beta reader!) thought that I could absolutely write a team-up between Loki and Q from Star Trek. So this was really her idea. Thank you for your trust, and your encouragement, and also the beta reading.
> 
> Also big Thanks to Maeamian for being my scientific advisor and letting me ask a thousand questions. Any scientific inaccuracies are entirely my fault and she's very kindly doing damage control. She's seriously amazing, and she's *not* on AO3 but she *is* on tumblr, where she talks about space and sometimes baseball.

Obviously, this is not how it happened, but imagine a very posh tea party rudely interupted by a meteor strike.

"Ugh", Q said as the following earthquake had died down and the oil paintings hanging on the wall and the chandelier hanging from the ceiling and the table and the china and the neatly arranged petit fours had stopped trembling, "we'll have to go see what that was. Q, go see what that was."

Q, sitting right next to Q and filling their cup with more sugar than tea, didn't even look up. "No chance dear, I've just sat down. Q will go, won't you, Q?"

"Oh no, not him, he's always just playing around."

True as that was, offence was still taken.

"How dare you? How, quite actually, dare you?"

"Now Q, don't be like that..."

But Q had already gotten up from his chair. "No, Q", he said, "I will go, and I will handle the situation as I see fit, and I will most certainly not _play around_."

And with that, he was out of the door.

The other Q sighed collectively. "Ah well", one of them said, "at least the rest of us don't have to get up. More cake, anyone?"

 

From the outskirts of perceivable existence came a groan.

Then,

        softly,

                 but with passion,

                                        someone said:

                                                                                                                                                                                                       "Aww. Shit."

 

Nothing seemed to be in the right place. Loki's mind was mostly of the opinion he was still falling, yet his body had already descided that this was ground. Pain everywhere, dulled by confusion and dizzyness, his eyes still fixed to a point behind his head, yet new information was already coming in, shapes and patterns, a buzzing in his ears, Loki struggled with the use of his limbs and the contents of his stomach alike.

 

                                                                                  It took a while before things slid into place.

 

He had tried this spell that he had read about, he had it ready, had it ready for years, ever since he knew this moment was a possibility. It was meant to work like a reset button. What was supposed to happen was that Loki's heart would stop beating and then his body would slowly dissolve, over days, and his matter would recollect at a safe place of his choosing, where he'd be restored to life again.

Careful as he was, Loki had established a connection to _three_ safe places, scattered over the universe, and ranked them in order for the spell to try. If one place was found to be disturbed or destroyed, the next one would be targeted. Three caskets, only to be opened from inside. One was placed in a secret room in the palace in Asgard, obviously now no longer intact, one was being exhibited and wonderfully guarded in the Museum of Great Britain on Earth, and one stood on Rhea.

Only he wasn't in one of the caskets, he was sure he wasn't supposed to feel so disoriented, and where was he anyways?

Any accomplished user of magic knew what to look for to recognize an illusion.  
For example, Loki eventually found himself in a big crater amidst a field of green. The clue was in the big oak tree not far from him, where a swing set was gently swaying in the wind. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh-whoosh. Squeek. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh-whoosh. Squeek. In never-changing rythm.

"Oh great. You ruined the lawn", a voice behind him said.

Loki forced himself up. "My apologies", he mumbled, "I didn't mean to barge in like this on your fake garden." He took a deep breath. "I've never used this spell before. I mean, I've never died before. Didn't have much opportunity to practise - oh, hang on..."

The man who had joined him seemed about to say something, but Loki held one hand up, bent over, gripping his knees, and started coughing and gasping. Suddenly he was overcome with his last memories catching up with him again, Thanos' face, Thanos' hand around his neck, the pain, the lack of air, the rising panic, that terrible, awful split second between him feeling his neck beginning to give and his body and mind unfolding in a whirl of realities.

                                                                                                                                                                                            All the death around him.

Loki took deep breaths,  
trying to stop coughing.  
Trying not to get sick.

                                                  The fear                                          the fear                            the fear                                                   t h e f  e  a  r

 

                                                                                                                                                                                 His brother's muffled screaming.

Loki jerked up.

"Thor!" he rasped. "I need to go back! Something went wrong, I need to go back!" He turned to face the man who, up till now, hadn't lift a finger to help.

"Care to explain", the man said, entirely ignoring Loki's peril "how you managed to enter this place?"

"I'd be happy to", Loki breathed. It was advisable to cooperate until he knew what he was dealing with. "If only I knew where I was."

The man made an imposing step towards Loki, eyes wide and questioning.  
"You are inside the Q Continuum! Do you even know how unheard of that is?"

"The... wha-" Loki yelped as the man took him by the joints of his jaw with one hand and started turning his head this way and the other, looking for something, staring up Loki's nostrils and then in his eyes.

"You are not a Q", the man said. Loki struggled to get out from his grip, which hardened. The man's hand slipped a little down Loki's throat, and Loki, losing his composure, tried to free himself by grappling his attackers' wrist. If this was going to end with his neck getting broken _again_ , he was going to flip.

"What are you?" the man asked. Upon noticing the naked panic in Loki's eyes, he reconsidered his method of inspection and let go.

Loki gasped with relief. He needed to take control of the situation _now_ , before he would unravel completely. "I am Loki", he said, "Prince of Asgard, and, forgive my impertinence, but I have never heard of a place called the Q Continuum."

"Asgard you say? Well, then you really are quite far away from home. You are not even in the right universe. You are not even on the right plane of existence. Which brings us back to my original question: How did you get here?"

Desperate measures call for desperate actions. Loki descided to tell the truth. As much as he had to. If he wanted useful information on how to return to his people, this being needed the proper context. Plus his mind was still reeling like mad and he needed a clear head before he could start keeping track of his lies.

"I... I died. And I tried this...this this _spell_ that I had once read about, but it must have gone wrong, something must have gone wrong, it could be anything, maybe I died too quickly, or not quick enough, or all of my backup destinations got messed with or, I don't know."

"You tried to cheat death", the man, the... _Q_ stated flatly, "I'm not sure whether to be amused or scandalized."

Under the scrutiny of the Q Loki was starting to become defensive. "You can't possibly hold that against me! Staying alive is the first imperative of any living form! Surely you don't feel any different about this than the rest of us."

The Q's head snapped up at him. "Do not assume. Not about me. Not about the Q. Not about this place."

"My apologies", Loki backpaddled grudgingly, "I didn't mean to offend."

Q scoffed. "You can't offend me, I am a Q."

"You do seem offended though."

"Well I'm not."

"Very well. Then I request your help. I need to get back to my universe. I have important matters to attend."

"Oh, you're important, huh?"

"Well", Loki shrugged in feigned humility, "Godhood keeps one busy."

A dangerous flicker in Q's eyes escaped Loki's notice.

"A god you say? Well why didn't you say so? How can I help you?"

Loki smiled with newly found energy. This illusion he stood in wasn't child's play, this Q must have been very powerful, and his support could be of great use.

To get back to his own universe, he needed to know what this reality was. What options were available? How powerful exactly were these people?

"Tell me about the Q-Continuum", Loki demanded.

Q smiled. "Of course", he said, "let me tell you all about it!"

And he snapped his finger.

 

 

                                                                                                                                  "My child, whereever has your mind gone to?"

 

                                      It was unusually warm for spring, and the sun filled Frigga's chambers with golden light.

 

                  Loki blinked.

 

In the comfortably padded chair he sat up in shock and took in the surroundings that were so familiar to him. He blinked again. "Huh?"

Amused, Frigga wrinkled her brow. "Don't let me keep you if you have somewhere else to be."

"No!", Loki hurried to say, then he stood up, walked to his mother, took her hand and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "No, please, forgive me, mother. I was... I was distracted. But now I'm all ear."


	2. Stop That Now Or I Will

"You've been uncharacteristically quiet lately, brother."

 

Startled, Loki looked up to get grinned at by Thor. "Breakfast was hours ago, Loki, why do you still sit here all alone in the dining hall? It's such a nice day outside, we could ride out! If you are done being moody, that is."

 

This was a younger Thor, a more brazen one, who still had both of his eyes and his naiveté, not at all matching the slightly older, experienced, more wary face Loki saw in the reflection of the golden cup of wine he was holding.

 

Loki sighed.

 

Two days now. Two days he had spent in this shadowplay. Since arrival, he'd partaken in a family dinner, got dragged by Thor to a gathering with Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, where they just sat around and congratulated each other on their fighting skills for hours, and walked around the palace by himself to find any mistakes or clues that could lead him out.

 

So far, these were the things he was sure of:

 

 _1\. None of the events he was experiencing in this Asgard matched exactly with Loki's own memories._ Meaning

-> He was not sent back in time.

 

2\. _Nobody seemed to notice the apparent changes in Loki's appeareance._ No comments were made about a spontaneous growth spurt of his hair, or about the sudden appeareance of worry lines. Meaning

-> The people arround him were not real.

 

So why proved it to be so hard to ignore this facsimile?

 

Well partly it was because not-Thor had taken to not-poke Loki in the shoulder, his index finger hovering next to him, but never actually making contact.

 

"Stop that", Loki said.

 

"Stop what?"

 

"You know what."

 

"I don't know what you are talking about. I'm not doing anything."

 

"Are you a child? Stop that now. Or I will."

 

Not-Thor dropped his hand. "Did something upset you?"

 

Loki slumped in his chair, closed his eyes and tried to focus on his problem.

 

"Loki? Are you mad at me?" Thor sounded unsure now.

 

"No", Loki sighed, "I'm not mad at you." He half opened his eyes, stared at nothing and let his thoughts run on their own, tired of being stuck. "I was, for a while. It was nothing you have done, it was something Father did. Said. Not said. Whatever. Nevermind that now. It's not important anymore. I mean, it _is_ important, but it has found its place now."

 

Finally he noticed Thor's confused face and forced a smile. "You don't need to worry. It's nothing bad. I made a promise to someone, and now I need to figure out how to keep that promise. That's all."

 

"Hm. One of your tricks again?"

 

"You could say so. Yes. A trick. Very hard to pull off. So if you could excuse me, I need to think."

 

He slumped back in the chair, closed his eyes again and started to go over the facts once more. Then he felt a wet finger in his ear.

 

When Loki left the dining hall, Thor didn't follow him, he was too busy pulling a fork out of his hand and yelling Loki's name, followed by a long string of insults.

 

 

 

He took a walk to clear his head. The responsibillity for his situation, he descided, lay with this being he had encountered, Q. But how did Q construct all of this? Which were the mechanisms that kept this magic going?

 

Well first of all, how had Q gained access to all this knowledge about Asgard and the palace? Assuming Q had not put on a show on their meeting, he had had no insights into Loki's home universe. So perhaps he had gained the necessary information from Loki himself? Except he was not a mind reader, or he would not have needed to question Loki as thoroughly as he had.

 

Q, Loki concluded, as powerful as he seemed, was not omniscient. And the only provider of insight into Loki's universe was Loki himself – ah! Clever bugger! Throwing Loki against some sort of blank canvas, some mirror illusion, and letting his own mind fill out the blanks. Were he raised Midgardian or Kree, the scenario would probably change accordingly.

 

Was this why he found himself now before the throne room?

 

Loki hadn't been avoiding Thor, but he most definetly had been avoiding talking to Odin alone. The last time he had seen him, in Norway, was still too fresh, too raw, to face that particular counterpart. Well it seemed something inside him had descided to get this part over with now. With determination in his step, Loki entered.

 

There was something unnatural about the way Odin, tall and proud like he used to in his prime, sat on the throne, as if he was about to receive an audience.

 

"Ah, my son, there you are."

 

When Loki and Thor had been children, they sometimes would hide behind the curtains after play time, trying to listen in on the business of the King. He would walk amongst his advisors, make descisions, talk about things neither he nor his brother really understood, and more often than not they were caught by their mother, who would smile, walk them into the room like it was nothing, and announce that the princes would like to be told their bedtime story now, a demand to which Odin, amazingly enough, had always yielded. Even as an adult, Loki had never been able to claim his father's time with the ease his mother had, and he suspected Thor, the real Thor, had felt the same to a degree.

When Loki had been returned from Midgard, when Odin sentenced him to life in a cell, when the throne was no longer akin to a coat he would slip into to pretend he was grown but a promise broken, he had liked to think that he had overcome this respect. That Odin no longer embodied authority to him. Apparently he had been wrong. Apparently the impression of the man who raised him proved more deep-seated, more persistent than any lie Loki could ever tell.

 

Cautiously Loki came closer. "Have you expecting me then?"

 

"I believe you wanted to have a talk with your old man for quite some time now."

 

Oh wasn't that bittersweet, that now he was ready to talk? The last time Loki had opportunity to talk to Odin was short, and it left so many questions unanswered.

 

"Well? What is it?" Odin asked patiently.

 

Where to begin?

 

How about Why? He never really answered that one. Why did you take me? Why did you lie about it? Why did you lie so much?

 

How about Did you love me as much as you loved Thor? At some point? In general?

 

How about When you disowned every single one of your children, did you feel righteous? Did you feel pain? When you disowned me, was it easier for you than when you did it to Hela or Thor?

 

How about Do you mind that I'm not like you? Am I not like you at all?

 

How about Our home is gone. Our home is gone, and I feel less upset about that than I think you would be, and for that I feel guilty, and I don't know why.

 

"Do you need advice? Did you get up to some mischief again?"

 

"Yes!", Loki said, hurrying forward, reliefed about the offered opening. "I need your advice! Father, something terrible happened. Everyone I care about is either dead or in great danger. And I can't help because I am stuck here. How do I leave? Please, tell me, how do I leave?"

 

Odin laughed.

 

Loki had not expected that. He gaped at his father, not understanding.

 

"But, Loki", Odin said, wiping a tear from his face, "why would you have to leave? Don't be silly. Running away? How would that help?"

 

"I don't expect you to understand, but this is not where I need to be."

 

"Where else would you need to be? Everyone who matters is right here, in Asgard."

 

This was wrong. This was very very wrong.

 

"You don't believe that, Father. You have your faults but this is not how you think. You know what war costs."

 

Odin dismissed that with a wave of his hand. "How would you know about something like that?"

 

"I know!", Loki stepped up, closed in on him. "I know now. Father you must tell me. How do I leave?"

 

For the first time since Loki got here, Odin looked him in the eyes. _Really_ looked.

 

"My son" it dawned on him, "you _do_ know. But how? How did you - "

 

"That's a long story. But I know. I know about Hela, Father, and I know... I know that I have not been Odinson by birth, and I know all the things what you never wanted me to know."

 

Odin stared at him. "I will not discuss this", he said, "you can go."

 

"Father, I know you feel shame but-"

 

"I WILL NOT DISCUSS THIS!"

 

Loki shrank back.

 

And if it had been anyone else, he might have apologized for his transgression, or eased the mood with a joke.

 

But this was Odin.

 

But this was not Odin.

 

And Loki finally felt it, in his heart, that this was not home.

 

"Forgive me", he said, "I have been unfair." He gestured to the man sitting on the throne. "This is not you. Not anymore. Maybe never was. This is not the man I talked to in Norway. This is not the man who was my father. That man is gone, and any of his wisdom and foolery has gone with him. This is just a stale picture. Coming here has been pointless. This impression is doing you an injustice, and I need to let go of it. I have lost too much time already."

 

He turned and left.

 


	3. Do You Want Me To Show You A Magic Trick?

When Loki had been five years old, he had descided to ambush Thor like one of the monsters from Fathers' stories.

 

It had been an unusually strong winter, and though their parents had never overly sheltered the boys, Frigga worried that they could get lost in the snow. So they had been ordered to stay inside, and Thor had been antsy for days, unused to the isolation. Thus, he would seek Loki out to play elaborate games, using toy swords to fight the evil hordes of chairs in the dining room.

 

So one day, Thor could not find Loki. Not wanting to be on his own, he went looking for his brother. Eventually he went to the library, where Loki would often look at pictures or read simple children's stories.

 

With some effort, Loki had pulled Odin's large armchair away from the fireplace into the shadows and climbed on it, the back rest facing the room.

 

Thor couldn't see him that way, but Loki couldn't see him either, so he had to listen for Thor's steps, and when he had estimated Thor to be on the right spot, he quickly climbed the backrest on his woolen socks and jumped with what he imagined was a mighty roar, but was in fact a high pitched squeal.

 

Alas he had not only misjudged Thor's position but also his own trajectory and fell flat on his nose.

 

For several seconds the two brothers had looked at each other in stunned silence.

 

Then, Loki had started to bawl.

 

After the initial shock Thor had pulled his crying brother to his feet and started dragging him through the castle by the hand, screaming for Mother on the top of his lungs. Frigga (and several of her maidens, and a palace guard or two) came running to them, alarmed by Loki's crying and Thors' panic.

 

It had taken several minutes to establish that Loki was not actually hurt, just shocked, and it took a lot of hugging and joking to calm down Thor and convince him that his brother was fine (In the days to come, they would tease each other about who supposedly had cried more).

 

Finally, to distract Loki from his misery, Frigga had gathered him into her arms and carried him into her chambers, where she sat him down on the edge of the bed and said: "Loki, do you want me to show you a magic trick?"

 

He had begged her for ages to show him how to do magic and, tears still streaming down his face, he nodded eagerly.

 

So she pulled a coin from his ear.

 

Loki had been so taken aback that he imediately forgot to be upset. "That's not magic!" he had said disappointed.

 

Frigga had made wide eyes. "No?"

"No! Anyone can do that." He had seen the stable master doing the same thing for his daughter the week before.

 

"How am I doing it then?" Frigga asked, a little smug. Loki had to admit he didn't know.

 

Frigga looked around, as if to make sure nobody listened in on her in her own chambers, and then she dropped her voice down to a whisper: "I can teach you to do magic. But you need to prove to be worthy first."

Eagerly, Loki nodded.

 

"Show me how I pulled the coin out of your ear, and I will teach you magic."

 

It had taken Loki days. An eternity for a child. Thor complained of boredom, so on the second day Loki had collected enough snow from the courtyard to bombard his brother with snow balls until he was soacked, but apart from that, he would do little else but working on the coin trick, and on the evening of the fourth day, he got out of bed, stuck the coin his mother had given him between his index- and middle finger so it could not be seen if he showed his palm, and toddled into the throne room, where a big dinner was going on, Loki didn't know what the occasion was.

Under the amused looks of the guests, he walked to Frigga's seat and pulled on her skirt until she looked down on him.

 

"What is it Loki? Why aren't you asleep?"

 

Loki beckoned for her to bend down so he could reach her face, and when she did, he reached up with his little hand behind her ear, moved the coin into his palm with a quick motion, and pulled back, the coin now visible to everyone. Wordlessly, he offered the coin to his grinning mother.

 

That had been his first lesson. If you don't know how something is done, you are simply standing on the wrong side. To do magic means to live behind the curtain.

 

 

 

With determination is his step, Loki was now on his way to this illusion's version of the rainbow bridge.

 

Had he had more time, he would have shapeshifted into an inanimate object until Q would have grown bored of him and released him. But Loki didn't have the time and he could only assume that Q was actually watching him. It was just a theory. Loki was pretty sure though. He had paid attention, after all.

 

"Heimdall!"

Loki barged in on the sentry's double and didn't waste another second. "I need your help."

 

"Indeed you do", Not-Heimdall said, calm as always, "I've been wondering when you would finally come see me. You took your time."

 

"Yes well, I'll admit I may have been a bit indulgent in my self-pity, but nevermind that now. What can you tell me?"  
  


"What do you need to know?"  
  


"For starters: how far can you see?"

 

"As far as this world reaches."

 

"Which is?"

 

"As far as you are willing to walk."

 

Loki nodded. "I've feared so. If I ask you anything about something that happens elsewhere, you will just make something up, I assume."  
  


"That is because you expect me to have answers."

 

Loki closed his eyes, poked himself angrily on his forehead and started walking up and down the room impatiently. "I'm thinking about this the wrong way around. He did not create an entire world for me to get lost in. That would be inefficient. This is me, I'm the focal point, I'm always the focal point." His head snapped up in understanding. "Have you actually been here for two days?"

 

"No", Not-Heimdall said.

 

"You just... popped into existence when I entered this room?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Oh, oh, this is clever, I really need to find out how all of this works. Especially the way my own memories provide the basis. The things I could do with a trick like that-"

 

"Your Highness, focus."

 

"Yes, yes you're right." With some restraint, Loki turned back at the matter of hand. "There... is no breaking out. The entire time I've been here, I have not moved. He is quite good, I give him that."

 

"He?"

 

"Q. He really had me for a moment. However. This will stop now. Do you hear me?"

 

The last bit was shouted into thin air.

 

Nothing happened. But Loki hadn't expected for Q to be lured out so easily, and he went on: "This game has become tiresome. I demand to be set free! After all, I am the one who started it, am I not? I asked you to tell me about the Q-Continuum, and you did. Overpowered, self-vaunting, stagnant, bored beings you are. Am I supposed to be impressed?"

 

"You really like running your mouth, don't you?" the sneering voice finally came from behind him. Where Heimdall had stood, was now Q.

 

"Interesting get-up", Loki commented dryly.

 

Indeed Q was wearing a ridiculous amount of layers of skins and pelts, a long blond braided beard, topped off with a heavy helmet with the largest twisting horns of an alpine ibex Loki had ever seen in his life, and a broadsword hanging from his belt that was wider than Loki's head. He felt mocked.

 

Q sashayed torwards Loki. "Didn't you like my little demonstration? A bit of introspective soul searching, a bit of drama? I found it very entertaining."

 

Loki didn't show his anger. "Entertainment. Yes, of course, this is what this is all about, isn't it? You finding a new toy. What is it, don't the other Q like playing with you?"

 

Maybe Loki showed his anger _a little bit_. However, Q letting his mouth drop open for several seconds made it worth it.

 

"You", Q hissed coldly when he found his voice again, "may need to learn to control that tongue of yours." He snapped his fingers.

 

Loki found he couldn't answer. Literally couldn't, and when he checked his face with a shaking hand, his mouth had grown shut.

 

"You see", Q went on, as Loki stared at him in terror, "the classic lessons are always the best. And perhaps you realize that power-"

 

The rest of the sentence ended in a yelp, as Loki had taken to step on Q's feet with all his might. Wether Q was actually in pain Loki couldn't tell, but he was at least surprised enough that Loki was able to jump on Q's back, pull his ear with one hand and twist his middle finger backwards with the other. Because of Q's heavy clothing it was a bit awkward to cling on to him, but Loki got a leg around his opponents torso and found footing under the hilt of the broadsword. Now he could hang on there for ages, like an angry spider monkey.

 

Needless to say, Q was incensed.

 

"You... _dare_...", Q tried to shake him off, but Loki just put more pressure into his tighs and held on. If he had still a mouth, he would have grinned. Pleased with himself, he pulled Q's finger further back to increase the strain.

 

"Argh! Argh! Alright, you little bastard! Let go of me and I undo that last bit!"

 

Instead, Loki pressed his free foot where he assumed Q's stomach.

 

"Yes alright, I promise!"

 

Loki released the finger, but let his hand sink no further than to Qs wrist.

 

A snap, and with endless relief Loki opened his mouth.

 

"Thank you! And now let me out of here!"

 

"As you wish", Q said. He snapped his fingers again, and with a "whup", Loki plunged into a barren wasteland.

 


	4. We Are Happy To Have You

So far so good.

 

At least this time, Loki had landed rather soft, and a big moon hang in the sky, bright enough that he could see rather well the yellow hills in the distance.

He got up. Annoyed, he dusted the sand off his clothes and looked around.

 

Loki didn't recognise the night sky, nor did he remember ever being in such a gaudily collored desert. But the wind didn't whisper in ever-repeating rythms, so at least he didn't seem to be stuck in the Continuum anymore, whatever that had been in the end.

 

In fact, the wind was not strong enough for his liking.

 

Contemplating, Loki took in the size of the moon.

 

Artificial atmosphere maybe? That would mean people. A small colony perhaps. There was only one way of finding out.

With a clipped sigh, Loki picked a random direction and started walking.

 

 

 

*

*

*

 

In _Introduction To The History of Intergalactic Academia Under The Influence of Asgardian Magic_ Anslaug Willamardóttir has this to say about a sorcerers relationship with the world:

 

> "Time and again we commit the error of naming ourselves the Masters of the Power we try to yield. Recklessness and arrogance lead us to complacency. And with that comes the tendency to treat magic as our own little pet. We come to feel as if we really are responsible for the turning of the tides and the brilliance of the stars. We are not. At most, we learn to have power over ourself. Frustratingly, every praticioner of magic needs to learn this lesson on their own.
> 
> Magic does not belong to us. The only thing we own is intelligence and wisdom."

 

*

*

*

 

 

Loki was stopped hard in his tracks when the air stopped.

 

One moment, he could breathe just fine, then not. Staggered, he stumbled back. Everything was normal again. He blinked. Then, carefully, he took a step forward and took a small breath.

 

Not enough oxygen in the atmosphere.

 

He had reached the end of his bubble and still nobody else had been found. Neither were any machines in sight that would set up the artificial atmosphere.

 

Q then. Loki had managed to break out from one prison into the next.

 

He continued his walk, but along the border of his bubble. With the heel of his boot, he started to draw little lines where the breathable atmosphere ended.

 

He had still made progress. At least he was now in the right realm of reality. Getting back to the right universe would not be too hard. He hoped.

 

Because Loki had a theory. His theory was that the Q he was dealing with was not exemplary of the entire Continuum, and if Loki just could manage to cause enough noise then the other Q would not be pleased. Meaning _this_ Q could be put under pressure. The question was, how-

 

Loki froze mid-movement. He stooped down and picked up a bit of yellow sand in his hands, letting it ripple through his fingers.

 

Sulfur.

 

He was getting an idea.

 

The line he had drawn seemed to make a perfectly round arch, and with some calculating, he found the center of the air bubble.

 

The problem was, if Loki could see through Qs illusions, that meant that Q was likely to see through Loki's illusions as well. He could test it out, caution whispered in his ear, but the only thing on Loki's side so far had been the element of surprise. It was time for desperate measures. And the chances that Q would let Loki be harmed permanently were low. That would defeat the whole purpose of his actions.

 

 

With all the drama he could muster, he spread his arms and screamed to the heavens: "Am I to live here then? Is this not tedious to you? Watching me despair?" And he threw himself to the ground to let loose a scream of frustration. After the trials of the past days, that scream was only 50% acting, but 100% convincing nonetheless.

 

His cape had twisted the wrong way around and over his head, and in the darkness, Loki reached into his little pocket dimension. He had to act quick, for he didn't know how much Q could see from wherever he was watching him. There _had_ to be something he could make fire with.

 

Forcing himself to stay calm, he brushed a safely sheathed dagger and kept feeling until his hand closed around a tiny envelope. Reliefed, he pulled the object out and sat up.

 

It was a set of book matches, lettered in the midgardian writing system latin.

 

 

> Willkommen am
> 
>  
> 
> Welcome to
> 
>  
> 
> Althoff
> 
> HOTEL AM SCHLOSSGARTEN
> 
>  
> 
> Stuttgart
> 
>  
> 
> Schön, dass Sie bei uns sind.
> 
>  
> 
> We're happy to have you.
> 
>  

it said.

 

How long had that been in there?

 

"Please be still dry, please be still dry", Loki begged, while he took out a match, and when he lit it without problems, a manic cackling escaped his lungs.

 

"Beautiful, handy, beloved exothermic sulfur. Oh Q! Watch this!"

 

And he let the match drop.

 

He lit the next match and dropped that one ten inches from the first.

 

He kept going through the entire set, and in the end, an nice line of blue fire made its way through the sand.

 

There wasn't much in terms of magic he could do now, a spell or two to quicken the growth of the fire, and now all that was left was wait for it to take its own course.

 

Protecting mouth and nose with the tail of his cape, Loki started to run.

 

 

 

By the time Q bothered to show himself, the stench had become unbearable, but the blue flames that devoured everything were hitting high and would not stop anytime soon.

 

"Are you insane?" Q shouted. "What is that supposed to archieve?"

 

Holding his breath, Loki shrugged.

 

Q sighed and waved a hand at the flames. They ceased.

 

"That doesn't matter", Loki said happily, "I'll do something else. It will be disastrous, or messy, or just very annoying."

 

He let that sink in for a moment before he went on. "We can play this game as long as you want, but it won't be fun for you. Eventually, you will grow tired of me. You might be possessive, or sadistic maybe, I don't know, but I know one thing: I can make this terribly unpleasant for you. So let me make a suggestion."

 

Q scoffed. "And what would that be?"

 

"Give me a running chance?"

 

 

 

 

 

"At least tell me where we are", Loki screamed as he fought himself through the snowstorm. He didn't mind the cold, but he could only advance slowly.

 

Q, dressed in something pink and glittery and definetly not weather appropriate that he had called "the latest craze on Risa", shook some snow out of his sandals. "I took you to Boreth", he said, "it's the location of a klingon monastery."

 

"And we're here why?"

 

"That would be telling. Telling is not the game."

 

"Why? What is the game?"

 

"I am giving you a chance, and you have to figure out the rest. If you're still here when I come back to get you, you have to travel with me."

 

"Travel with you?"

 

"Wherever I want. Oh, don't look at me like that, it will be fun! You just got here, let me show you around. An entire universe to explore, think about it."

 

"As tempting as that sounds", Loki screamed back, struggling uphill, "I've got my own universe to explore. And I've always managed well without a Q by my side. Not to mention, I have obligations. So, my answer is No, thank you."

 

"We will see about that."

 

They reached the monastery shortly after.

 

"And what now" Loki asked as they stood at the gates.

 

Q snapped his fingers, and a big hourglass fell into Loki's hands. It was a pretty piece, a clear chrystal filled with blue sand running down, adorned with a handle hanging from the golden frame and a ring in the middle.

 

"You have two hours."

 

And before Loki could answer, Q snapped his fingers again and disappeard.

 

"At least tell me what I'm supposed to do! Urgh!"

 

It was no use.

 

In lack of options, Loki knocked at the gates.

 

The gates didn't open, but soon he felt a pair of eyes on him, and when he looked up, a hooded figure, one of the klingon monks probably, mustered him from over the wall.

 

"Hello there! With your permission I'd - "

 

But the hooded figure left. Loki stared for a coupple of seconds, before he knocked again, harder this time.

 

"Open up! This is a matter of life and death!"

 

He lost minutes standing there, but eventually a different hooded figure turned up, mustered him. Shook their head.

 

"How are you possible?" the figure finally said.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"We don't know who you are. We have not seen you coming. Your existence is impossible. How are you here?"

 

"That is hard to explain and I don't have that much of time, but if you allow me-"

 

The hooded figure was gone again.

 

Loki let his fists rain down on the gate in growing frustration.

 

The monk, the first one, returned. "What did came here for?"

 

"I'm not sure."

 

"You're not sure?"

 

"I was sort of dropped of here? I was told you could help me."

 

"You were told wrong. Leave." And the monk was gone again.

 

This time, Loki added some gate-kicking to the knocking.

 

The second monk was back again.

 

"Listen", Loki shouted and raised his hourglass, "I have less than two hours. I'm asking for help!"

 

He let out a series of courses as the second monk disappeared again, but it was barely a minute before another, third monk showed his face.

 

"Dammit", Loki breathed. "I urge you! My name is Loki Odinson, I'm a refugee and I'm in need of help! I got seperated from my people and got cast to the wrong universe! People will die if I don't make it back in time!"

 

"Is this your ploy to gain hold of a time chrystal?" the monk asked.

 

"I don't even know what a time chrystal is! I'm not here to steal anything, I just need to get home. Argh!"

 

It seemed his pleading had fallen on open ears, because the next thing that happened was that the gate opened and one of the monks asked Loki in.

 

"Do you need food? Sleep? Fresh clothing?"

 

Loki shook his head No and held up the hourglass. "I'm currently in the hands of a bored omnipotent being that wants to keep me as companion and I have less than ninety minutes to escape back to my own universe."

 

The monk nodded and beckoned him to walk with him. "What you tell me makes sense."

 

"It... it does?"

 

"It explains why we could not foresee your arrival. Your existence in this universe is short and without impact. You are a dayfly, and you are disturbing the fabric of our reality. There has been too much travels between parralel universes lately already, we don't need you here too."

 

Loki descided to ignore the insulting comparison. "So will you help me?"

 

"We might. The sooner we get you away from here the better. Do you know what we are?"

 

"Monks?"

 

"We are guardians."

 

"Guardians of what?"

 

"I will show you."

 

 

 

 

 

Loki was standing in a cave and couldn't stop gaping.

 

He stood. In a cave. Filled with _infinity stones_.

 

The monk, his name was Bormugh, called them time chrystals, and wasn't that fascinating? Not only were the forces in this universe distributed differently, for some reason their time stones had the colour of the tesseract, the space stone, raising all sorts of questions about the creation of the multiverse, and the connectedness of all matter, and he really didn't have any time for that. The sand in the hourglass was falling quicker, something Bormugh had blamed on the physical closeness to the time chrystals.

 

 

"I advise you not to touch the chrystals", Bormugh told him, "there are things we are not meant to see, and in your situation I would not know how it affects you."

 

Loki nodded. "Hands off the chrystals, got it." He glanced at the hourglass. He had only twenty minutes left. "That's cheating, Q", he said, and the sand imediately went on to fall a bit quicker.

 

 

He put the hourglass down and took a deep breath.

 

"Let's do this then! I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm gonna do it. Green time stone, but blue time chrystals, but blue space stone. Connection of space and time? Possibly I can build a bridge between two universes."

 

"Four minutes", Bormugh said, eying the hourglass.

 

"Yes, I know. Give me a break, I'm building an interdimensional bifrost with nothing but nursery logic and hope!"

 

"Three minutes and twenty seconds."

 

"Yes, I got that,"

 

Loki rubbed his head. He could do it. All he had to do was make a connection between these chrystals and the infinity stones.

 

Bormugh had said that he was a confounder.

 

Maybe _he_ could be the connection.

 

"I'm going to touch the chrystal", Loki said.

 

"I strongly advice against that", Bormugh said.

 

"I am going to touch it."

 

"Very well."

 

Loki was led to a particularly large chrystal that stuck from the floor. "How much time left?"

 

"Ninety seconds."

 

"There we go then." He put a hand on the chrystal.

 

Loki and the world resolved into static.

 

When he came to his senses again, he found that he hadn't moved an inch. Behind him, Bormugh and the hourglass seemed to be frozen, before him extended an endless void.

 

 

Then, someone switched the light on.

 

 

Said someone stood in front of a bookshelf, looking for something.

 

Loki gasped.

 

It was _that_ guy.

 

"You!"

 

The man turned around.

 

"...Loki?"

 

"Doctor Weird?"

 

The man sighed. "No."

 

"Professor Peculiar? It was something like that."

 

"Good Lord, it's Strange! Doctor! Strange! Why is it that hard to get?"

 

"That's not important right now. What is important is this: What are you doing in my vision of the future?"

 

" _Your_ vision? No, _I'm_ currently viewing the 80,000sts version of the future!"

 

"Why would you do that?"

 

"I'm trying to find a way to stop a man called Thanos-"

 

"Ah, him, good luck with that. He killed me, you know?"

 

"Oh, wow!" Strange seemed genuinely tacken aback.

 

"Broke my neck, like the brute he is."

 

"Uhm, sorry to hear that? But you seem alright?"

 

"It's a long story."

 

"So what is happening now?"

 

"Well as I understand it, we are both using time stones and are now interferring with each other's timelines."

 

"How can we both-"

 

"REALLY not important right now. We need to severe the connection between us."

 

"Alright, how do we do that?"

 

"Just do as if you hadn't met me. I'm in a situation where time is going haywire."

 

"Similar with me, I'm experiencing a lot of things right now but the actual time frame is very small."

 

"Then we will fall out of synch quickly."

 

Doctor Strangle, or whatever his name was, nodded and put his hand on a cord that was hanging from the ceiling.

 

"Good luck with... whatever you're doing there, Loki."

 

"Choke on a rock."

 

"Charming", the sorcerer said and pulled on the cord. It was dark again.

 

"Time is almost up", Q said.

 

"Where in Hel did you come from?"

 

"I was thinking, our first destination could be-"

 

"I'm not going anywhere with you. I'm going home."

 

"Be reasonable. Do you know the chances of landing on the right spot? They are astronomically small. You could end up anywhere in your universe, anytime."

 

"Sod it. I'm taking my chances."

 

A soft light glimmed in the darkness beneath his feet.

 

"That's my ride. Farewell, Q."

 

And with that, Loki jumped.

 

 

 

 

 

The fall was short and the landing was hard.

 

He heard a surprised shout, heavy steps, a metallic sounding voice, and more shouting.

 

Loki groaned. This time, he didn't need long to pull himself together.

 

He was lying on the floor of a space ship. He could feel the vibrations, and he could see space outside the window, and, oh, his poor _head_.

 

"What the actual hell?" a voice asked.

 

"How did he get inside?" the metallic voice demanded.

 

Loki sat up.

 

With him were two people, one a stone-faced woman who seemed more metal than flesh, and the other... was a lot thinner than the last time he had seen him, and looked a lot more tired. But it was him, no doubt.

 

"Tony Stark, isn't it? What a pleasant surprise! We've met, remember? New York, couple of years ago? I was the guy with the staff!"

 

Tony stared at him. "Holy sh-"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fictional little book quote in this chapter is loosely based on an excerpt of Chapter 1 from The Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs, by Harold Abelson and Gerald Jay Sussman with Julie Sussman.
> 
> And that's it. The story is done, and just in time. Who else here is dreading Endgame? I know I do.


End file.
